The Trying too Hard Syndrome

Mood: Horrible

Mental state: Unstable

                   *

This year has not been a good year for me. Neither was last year, and the year before (especially the year before) and the year before. Hell, I only remember having fun when I was in the Debate team, Sri Acmar & Sri Bestari - where my friends were as straight up as they came & were not hiding behind fake facades to impress the rest of the food chain.

Everytime I observe fakes, questions always revolve - are they really like this at home? Does their family know they have a faker in the house? What would their dogs think if they found out their master is a 'trying-hard-to-fit-in' being, even they admit not doing such crap during mating season? Most of all, why can't they be their normal selves? Geez Louise, what's wrong with being yourself?

I hate fakes (pirated dvds are an exception, aight?). And I can come up with one whole damned volume of entries thrashing the kind of fakes or desperate "fit-ins", expressing how they resemble nails dragging down chalkboards. Even Freddy Krueger doesn't give me shivers that intense. Now I'm not pointing this out to anyone in particular. I just tend to bottle up my feelings and when shaken up right, I just fizz & explode in general. And since I don't burst into homicidal rages anymore, I'm letting my thoughts stream into electronic words.

Firstly, I despise fake accents that are too obviously faked. Even in movies, I can't stand people faking an accent e.g. Bridget Jones' Diary & a few Malay movies. I forgive Bridget Jones' tho, due to the fact it IS meant to be in an English setting but the local movies? Plain pathetic ok? You can tell they're trying really hard to sound like some professional.

"Ooh yeah, I speak English, see? And I know words. Impressed already?".

Prft, oh I would be impressed if your grammar wasn't that fucked up and the bombastic words you used weren't pronounced that weirdly. OMG, did I just say that? Sorry :( I'm not saying I'm so good in English - fuck, no. It's just a means of communication and hey, it's not that I'm trying so fuckin' hard to sound like a pro speaker by putting in fake pronunciations, slurs & intonations. This is how I speak at home, and this is how I speak with the rest of the population (human population of course. I speak Cat with felines. Haha). Because I know even if I try to "impress" people with my fake "almost-sounding-like-English" speaking, there'll be a time where everything slips off mode and really stupid pronunciation bloopers surface - one key element in detecting fakes. They slip off their usual fake accent and start to sound really funny. I've been through this, hell yeah. And I seem to catch myself amidst the urge to raise an eyebrow in disgust/surprise and the tendency to laugh my ass off so hard, there'd be only one side left at the end of it. So, for those who're caught in this disease, get a grip. Your lame "accent" ain't impressing anyone. Not me at least.

Secondly, guys who try really hard to make a face for themselves by proving they're perverts. WTF, guys??? You think by whistling, winking your heinous beady eyes, blurting out incredibly plebeian phrases like, "larilah cik adik, jangan jalan saja" at girls who happen to pass by you, you'll get the fish into the net? Fuck you! Haven't you heard of human sense??? What are you caught in a time jam? It's 2006, you morons! Being perverts don't get you anywhere with girls. Unless you're in Idiotsville then maybe you can get away with a few stakes, but then again, who can stand your attitude? So passe! And when I say this, it's not just my personal view but the perspectives of the whole female community - perverts like yourselves don't deserve to be in human form. I suggest it's either you grow up or take a hike. Or even better, become a tree. At least you can help with the globe's environmental issues instead of wasting more land and air space.

Lastly, people who try hard to fit into popular/cool groups despite being the total Yang of the group's Yin. Dammit man. Even rats know hamsters aren't their kind. There's nothing wrong with making friends. Heck, it's perfectly noble. But please be sincere with it. You befriend a person because of who the person is, how he/she relates to you, how the person can be there for you at times of shit and how well the relationship can be maintained when things go fray. You don't befriend a person because you wanna be cool. You befriend a person because you wanna belong. It saddens me to see someone desperately trying to fit into a puzzle when every edge & colour of him/her just screams "NO FIT". Even sadder, when the group looks so bloody obvious they want him/her out. I understand it's freakin' hard to find someone who really understands & clicks with you (trust me, it took me years to know someone familiar to me), but please don't make it look so obvious you're desperate because in the end your intention to be cool just turns you cold. Be natural. Only then a person can judge you as who you really are. The last thing you want happening is getting misjudged by who you're not.

All in all, nevertheless the cliche of this all, I just gotta say "Be yourself". If you wanna impress anyone with whatever mojo you have in your pocket, just ensure the person's not me...unless you're a natural (I like naturals :D).

Til then, it's pancakes for me for breakfast.

-

Bugger & out.

Comments

[d-Que]

woohoo!the 1st one to have my shit on ur latest entry..u know what we should do?...we all should be housemates of the Big Brother show..i just love BB and what i love the most is that all the fakes ones r getting kicked one by one..as i said before..i hate hypocrits n the try-hards...u really sums everyting up..so glad u wrote this...i can sleep peacefully now coz i was thinking of doing the same thing..go nada!

by da way, since u mentioned it, the debate team part is really one of my highlights in life...well..i think that's the best so far..keep in touch buddy!

[Khirule]

hie nada! eh, bukan you speak with a tamil accent ke? hipokrit

[Wong Zhao Wen]

Man, so glad u've grown out of the homocidal phase and into the electronic phase. I'm still stuck in suicidal and paper phase. Haih. Though I did type some up in word documents, haha!

Well actually I have to say, I agree on the whole 'trying hard to be popular' thing. I mean, I absolutely do NOT have a problem with people making friends because they're sincerely interested in that person (it IS noble), but sometimes I just can't help thinking that they do it simply because they wanna be POPULAR, known to the whole of the community as somebody SIGNIFICANT. It sickens me. It's like, they're sooo fucking proud when they go somplace and everyone knows them, like, wth? I may be wrong, in that case, call me a bitch, I'm sorry. But my point is this: please don't pretend that you care or pretend that you're friendly when you actually do not give a fuck about anything but your own perceived popularity. PLEASE. Okay, so maybe your philosophy if different from mine, but I'd rather stick to a few friends whom I really do give a fuck about n I feel they do about me as well, rather than have a thousand unknowns saying hi but you don't really feel happy other than the fact that somebody recognises your existence. Okay sorry, this is long. Just feel like indulging in my teen angst, while I still can. Heck, I only have a few months left.

[-ami n co iii-]

ami natural!
=D

[Nada]

Yana, DQ, thanks for agreeing. Would've remained homicidal if it wasn't for you guys. I just can't stand pretenders ok? Fuckin' sticks a rod through my cerebrum and it gives me a sodding headache.
And Khirule, 8 months without a word and now you're spilling my beans on my Tamil accent! Backstabber! I'm gonna write another entry on backstabbers, you! :P
And Ami, never thought you were pretentious. You're as straight up as your packaging label claims you are :)

[Zatyness]

i was laughing thru the whole entry.

i SO agree with ya, fakes are so dang annoying.

it's one thing to imitate someone/something you like/admire, but it's whole other thing to copy totally, unsuccesfully. XD

you so rock, nada. ^_^

[Nada]

Damn, I LOVE you guys who commented. It feels soooooo refreshing to have ppl supporting your opinion. Thnx Zaty. I sense we can be super cool gossipmates :P

[Tharishni]

They don't make human shape boxes. Even coffins are diamond-shaped. Kain kapan wraps around you. And fire burns you.

Oh, fuck, what i'm trying to say is, trying to fit in is stupid, cause there isn't a one size fits all. And once you try to fit in, its death for you and your personality.

Thus, fakes are born.

I think i've had too much novocaine.

[hazelly wuggly]

Wow. *gives a standing ovation and forces her stuffed toys to stand with her* This is quite an inspirational piece. Not in the sense that it inspires people to be a fake or anything.But rather, the other way round.

And bout the 'desperately-trying-to-fit-in's..yes, I do believe that they should look in the mirror, and tell themselves that they're beautiful.(handsome, if the subject's a male;P ah screw it. tell themselves something positive.) People, people..no one's an outcast or a pariah. Feed yourself with positive adjectives. Spell em out using cornflakes. and eat em. Digest em into your body and mind.

Well, not up to the extent that makes you bloody cocky plak. Hmm. Moderation's good.
=)

Nonetheless, u go Nada!

p/s: m still standing and clapping =)

[hazelly wuggly]

I'm gonna link you to my blog. Hope that's ok with u.Cheers. =)

[Nada]

You can do that?? The linking to your blog thing?

And Hazel & Tharish, your English is making me feel puny. Gempak gile ok? Nak tulis blog bahasa Sanskrit ah lepas ni.